Now we are absolutely convinced that after 77 years of searching for the paradise lost or the lost garden, we have reached its gates. And this is not a mere illusion, but a reality because the sources from which we have received this news, and continue to receive, are all authentic and reliable. And we always speak the truth because they have sworn on the throne to always speak the truth and nothing but the truth because they are all honest and trustworthy. They are so afflicted with the pain of the people that they have even sacrificed their sleep and rest for it. For example, our “media” is filled with truth from top to bottom, and it is so full that sometimes it even drips from our noses, ears, and eyes.
I shall now recite, laden with complaints, like the musician,
If you pluck the string, see what happens.
Those who give these statements truly hold degrees of alim, professor, doctor, lawyer, and engineer, but it is necessary to clarify that the ones giving these statements are so expert and sincere in their work that even if they miss a prayer, they shall do so, but they will never miss giving a statement. Here I am reminded of a young man who once came to me, whose elder brother we knew, and he had a music center in the market where he used to rent out CDs. He saw us sitting in a hotel and ran towards us and asked, “Have you read my statement in the newspaper?” We replied that we had not read any statement by him.
Today’s newspaper contains a shocking incident, and after running towards his shop, he was surprised at what statement he could have given. A little while later, he returned with the newspaper and started showing a news item, which stated that the police had raided a music center where adult films were being shown. We were reading the news, and he was proudly smiling and nodding. The news was about his shop, and after being caught, he came out today and began proudly referring to this “proud” news as his statement. If you aren’t infamous, what will you be?
Shall I call it his fame or his embarrassment?
Before me, my stories have been told in this street,
And now, by God’s grace, those who give statements have also emerged in a category where they can give statements against themselves to appear in the news. There was a Pashto poet who was very thoughtful about women. He lived in a very remote area, so we sometimes met him. One day, a shocking and intriguing news item came in the newspaper that the renowned Pashto poet… had been found dead at a certain location, with some broken bangles and stuck in bushes. It was a tragedy that someone had brutally murdered him in his youth. But to some extent, there was also envy involved. Did he achieve martyrdom in love?
If I am slain, happiness lies in your hands,
Those who are destined to die are fluttering again,
The area was very far away. So, we did not go to recite the Fatiha, and gradually we forgot about him. But a year later, we met a person from his village and asked about his martyrdom. Surprised, he said, “But he is alive and we often meet him.” Later, we also saw him at a gathering. When asked about the news, he laughed, saying, “I had staged it myself.” Nowadays, news and statements have become one, and mostly the news is about statements. And from these statements, it is clear that we have reached the gates of paradise lost, and the gate is about to open.
While there is good news at the upper level, the officials and ministers of our province of Khyber Pakhtunkhwa are claiming that they have established the “State of Medina” here, which was supposed to be established throughout Pakistan. But the jealous ones, external forces, and imported governments have brought death in our youth in this province.
When we turn our province into a lost paradise, we will also connect the broken links back to where they were broken. And this is definite because the news coming from there is very reliable and authentic through the source named Kareena Kapoor, who was initially just an institution but has now become a professor, lawyer, doctor, and singer and has become so skilled in giving statements that she can issue two statements every day on the rising and setting of the sun and can even announce both the sunrise and sunset in each other’s names.
“Such fate was also in your dust, O Lord,
May even such a lamp be in our ashes.”